


Ten Years Reflection And Sudden Affection Comes On

by ominousrum



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, fluff but maybe a wee bit of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2019-02-14 12:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13007454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ominousrum/pseuds/ominousrum
Summary: Not everyone found someone they never wanted to be apart from; like a puzzle piece they didn’t know they were missing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ughfitz (wokemeup)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wokemeup/gifts).



> For the lovely ughfitz who requested a fic many, many moons ago where Fitzsimmons were together before joining Coulson’s team. I took a few small liberties with the prompt and ended up with lots of canon divergence. Title taken from The Delgados song Accused of Stealing.
> 
> Thank you to clearascountryair for letting me ramble at her with questions <3

It was late. It was late and he had been hungry and she had been exhausted and the _bloody sunrise_ had bathed them in a warm glow after hours of studying. She hadn’t meant to let her lips brush against his. He hadn’t meant to pull her so close and tangle his hands in her hair.

It didn’t mean anything. How could it? Leopold Fitz was her best friend and it was one moment in time. One moment of weakness amongst months of unwavering friendship. 

Logic helped soothe her, logic was Jemma Simmon’s true friend in this time of confusion. The strange sensation akin to longing whenever she looked at Fitz now was simply illogical and therefore needed to be ignored. Scientists had no time for pining, nor did Jemma find this to be a practical application of her time. She needed to put things right between them. Especially since they were both graduating the Academy and would be out in the real world soon enough.

Jemma wrote the past week off as an anomaly, determination curling down to her toes when she woke up to greet Monday morning. The bright, clear cold of the fall day strengthening her resolve.  

“Fitz?” Jemma broached, hands curled into fists at her sides.

“Hi Simmons. Y’alright?”

“Of course.”

“If you keep looking at me like that you might drill a hole through my forehead,” Fitz deadpanned.

The fact that Fitz seemed largely unfazed to what had happened between them only added fuel to the fire. Jemma swore he had become indifferent towards her overnight. It felt just like it did before they had become friends; him standoffish bordering on haughty and her trying to stamp down her enthusiasm to talk to him.  

“Well that would be impossible. Anyway, I’m sure whatever way I’m looking at you is down to stress.” Jemma babbled an explanation as she watched Fitz nod.

“You shouldn’t worry about grades, Simmons. I’m sure you’ll come out on top.”

Jemma hated the way he said her name now – professional and perfunctory. No warm inflection. No twitch at the corners of his mouth she sometimes spied.

“If everything were as simple as telling myself not to feel it, I wouldn’t be in this mess,” Jemma squeaked. She bit her tongue very hard to hold the curses in, copper peppering her tastebuds.

“What?”

“Nevermind. I wanted to speak to you about your plans for after we graduate.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just wanted to find out if anything may have changed, in light of recent events.”

That prompted Fitz to let his mouth fall open a fraction, an indiscernible look clouding his bright eyes. Not that Jemma was focused on watching Fitz’s mouth do anything. Surely not. Jemma struggled to find the words now the conversation was unfolding, sucking air through her teeth before she let everything tumble out. “I just don’t want things to be awkward between us. You’re my best friend in the world and I wouldn’t want to lose that.”

Fitz stared at the ground, lips set into a thin line. Jemma watched his face intently, worry gnawing at her stomach.

“You won’t,” Fitz said softly, raising his eyes to hers. “You won’t lose me.”

A grin split across Jemma’s face and she felt the tension drain out of her shoulders. “So you’re still on board for staying at Sci Ops until the right opportunity comes along?”

“You’re going to tell me what that is once you figure it out, yeah?”

“Fitz, you make it sound like I have control over your life,” Jemma gave a nervous laugh.

“It’s a fine line sometimes, Simmons,” Fitz sighed, “now come on we need to get to class.”

Jemma didn’t have the faintest idea what he meant, but her relief at their dalliance being swept under the proverbial rug was enough to brighten the rest of her day.

 

***

Eight years later, Fitz-Simmons (as the entirety of Sci Ops liked to call them) were more bonded than ever. Some days they were _too_ bonded. Although conversations were easy and finishing each other’s sentences the norm, there was often an undercurrent of hostility. Nothing either could pin on the other with any lasting consequences, of course. Still they snipped at each other, rolled their eyes at least once per day, and the little quirks they once found endearing in one another were rapidly becoming unbearable.

There were times when Jemma would look at Fitz, his curls particularly floofy and his smile wide, and the dull ache of longing dredged up from the depths of her lungs. She dismissed it every time. They were lucky, even if their relationship bordered on combative at times. Not everyone found someone they never wanted to be apart from; like a puzzle piece they didn’t know they were missing.

They were doubly lucky to find themselves with an offer to join an exclusive team led by a high ranking agent that would likely take them all over the world _together._

“Simmons, we haven’t passed our field assessments. Why do they even _want_ us?” Worry was furrowing Fitz’s brow, much to Jemma’s dismay.

“Why? Oh come on Fitz, our brilliant reputation clearly precedes us!”

“Don’t you think we could do more good here, while staying safe and sound tucked in our lab?”

“But it’s the perfect opportunity for us to see the world!” Jemma flashed her most dazzling smile in his direction, waiting for his resolve to break.

“Fine,” Fitz agreed with a weary sigh, “but mark my words we’re going to regret this.”

Jemma flung her arms around Fitz, pulling him into a crushing hug. She told herself her happy sigh had nothing to do with her proximity to Fitz’s neck.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz risked his life to join her in the lab, full of reassuring smiles and the stubborn attitude she loved and despised in equal measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dancing near the edge of the canon divergence rabbit hole, but there will be more diverging to come.

It turned out Fitz did have somewhat of a point about regret, as the adventures they encountered as part of Coulson’s team did stray into dangerous territory quite often. But wasn’t anything better than being sequestered in their lab forever, only seeing the other’s pasty face day in day out? Fitz remained largely unconvinced but Jemma was optimistic. They were meeting new people and experiencing new things and actively _helping_ people. Coulson, May, Skye, and Ward were fast becoming a makeshift family – all aboard a ridiculous plane called the Bus. 

The worst thing they had to contend with other than occasionally being in mortal peril was that the far inferior Lipton was the only readily available tea. Apparently Coulson didn’t see the merit in flying to England simply to snag a few boxes (cases?) of Yorkshire Gold. As a result, Jemma took her sorry excuse for tea twice as strong as she normally did, and sometimes with a blasphemous half teaspoon of sugar.

Jemma felt her expression morph into a scowl at the sight of Fitz and Skye laughing together in the kitchenette, thick as thieves. There was no mistaking the lovestruck look that passed across Fitz’s face as he watched Skye walk back to her room and it unearthed a sharp sting of resentment Jemma couldn’t avoid.

If she was being honest, Skye had nothing to do with it. She _liked_ Skye, envied the way she had such a presence when she walked in a room. How the right, flirtatious words just seemed to roll off her tongue without a second thought. Other than her obvious beauty, Skye was warm and friendly and kind. Why wouldn’t Fitz fall head over heels for Skye? She was dazzling.

It wasn’t so much that Fitz had a crush on Skye that caused Jemma’s blood to boil. It was the fact that out of all the people in the world, Jemma wanted Fitz to have a crush on _her_. His best friend and the woman he’d shared a frankly _amazing_ kiss with.

“Hey Simmons, there you are. I was just telling Skye she should start watching Doctor Who.”

“You were?” Jemma felt as though she’d been slapped.

“Yeah, she’s just going to see if she can find any decent snacks in Coulson’s office.”

“She doesn’t even know how to make a bloody cup of tea!” Jemma hissed, cheeks flushed crimson.

“What are you on about, Simmons?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Jemma tried to storm off in the most dignified manner she could muster, with the assumption she failed miserably.

They didn’t talk much the next three days, though Jemma brought him a cup of tea as a peace offering the next morning and Fitz moved to sit next to her on the sofa. They bounced ideas off of each other about the strange floating bodies they were investigating but nothing veering into friendly banter. Next thing they knew Jemma was infected with an alien virus and was running out of time.

Jemma couldn’t recall when she had felt so incredibly scared. Not only was she likely going to die, but if she didn’t find a cure or the timing they predicted for the virus to claim her life was slightly off, she would take her entire S.H.I.E.L.D. team with her. It was absolutely terrifying and her heart clenched in her chest every time she looked at Fitz.

“You have to fix this,” Fitz echoed the sentiment drilling itself into her brain.

“I don’t know _how_ , Fitz.” She wanted to curl up in a ball in the corner of the lab, like a rat in a large quarantine cage.

But they did find a glimmer of hope – together, as all the bright spots of their lives seemed to spring from. If they could just get the anti-serum to work, this nightmare would be behind them. Fitz risked his life to join her in the lab, full of reassuring smiles and the stubborn attitude she loved and despised in equal measure.

When the test rat floated to its death once injected with their best chance at a working anti-serum, Jemma felt her heart drop to her feet. This was it, there wasn’t enough time for second chances and the longer she fooled herself into thinking there was, the greater the jeopardy to her team.

_You have to fix this._

She did, and she would. The team let her and Fitz have a moment alone and Jemma had to silence the screaming in her skull to hold him close one last time. There wasn’t a point and if she didn’t make her move now, she’d never be able to get through past the cargo hold and into the water below in time. She winced as the fire extinguisher connected to the back of Fitz’s head, an apology on her lips as she moved to lock the door behind her.

She felt his screaming before the muffled sounds registered in her ears and she turned around for one last look. Fitz was desperate, panicked as he struggled to open the door. Jemma gave him a sad smile before letting the clouds claim her.

Falling was a new kind of terrifying, tumultuous and helpless and _strange_. Jemma tried to move her thoughts away from what drowning would feel like (or possibly what exploding like a supernova before she hit the water would feel like). She thought of her family, of Fitz – notions of them more like feelings than anything cohesive. They were a hollowing ache in her bones as the wind sailed through her. She had just shut her eyes when she sensed something above her, opening them to find Ward, parachute strapped to his back, motioning for her to position her arms and slow her descent. Jemma felt the zap of the anti-serum delivery device course through her leg before everything went black.

Coulson ordered Jemma and Ward come to his office as soon as they got themselves into dry clothes. A brief glance at the team revealed Fitz looked about as pale and sweaty as Jemma felt, but he visibly relaxed once he spotted her.  

Skye surprised Jemma with a crushing hug as soon as Coulson had finished chastising them for their reckless behavior. Any residual resentment at Skye being the object of Fitz’s affection seemed to drain away as she returned the embrace.

The next surprise was Fitz wrapping his arms around her as soon as she crossed the threshold towards her bunk.

“I’m sorry, Fitz,” Jemma murmured into his shoulder, eyes misting with tears as she felt him shake his head slightly and tighten his grip before releasing her. They sat on her bed and Fitz tried to explain all the reasons he had failed to be the one to save her from a watery grave, much to Jemma’s frustration.

“Fitz, stop.”

Fitz obeyed, staring at the floor.

“Ward did an amazing thing, yes. But you were by my side trying to find a cure. You were giving me hope when I had none.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re the hero.”

Jemma kissed his cheek softly and without allowing herself to linger more than a second. She knew nothing good could come from lingering too long.

A package of Yorkshire Gold arrived at The Hub for Jemma the following week from her parents, without a word of explanation.


End file.
